How to Date Yourself (Even If You Aren't Single)

Hey y'all!

So last week, I posted an Instagram saying that I'm my own woman crush Wednesday (yes, that's what #wcw stands for, mom). In the caption, I mentioned how important dating yourself was, and how I was going to touch on it in a blog post soon. Well, here it is!

Now I know what you're probably thinking when you read the title of this post..."What the heck does dating myself even mean?" It means exactly what you think it means. How would you go on a date with someone you loved? That's your answer.

If you knew someone was coming over to your apartment for a 'Netflix and Chill' kind of night, you'd probably shave your legs, deep clean your living room, and most importantly, pick out the cutest pair of pj's you have so that you not only look your best, but you feel your best too. So why don't we stop and do that for ourselves? Why do we skip out on showering for the day, stay in our old college t-shirt, and let the mess pile up around us because we know we'll get to it later?

Now before you say "my boyfriend and I just lay around the house because we're comfortable with being ugly around each other." Ok, ok, I get it because same. But that doesn't mean that I don't get extra excited when we dress up nice and go out of the house for dinner. It feels even more special when we decide to get off our butts for the weekend and do something ~outdoors~. So even if you are in a relationship, that doesn't mean you are always just looking ugly. (And if you are, maybe consider doing something special once a week...spice it up a lil bit.)

Don't you deserve the excitement that someone outside of ourselves gets? Shouldn't we be so in love with ourselves that we WANT to look pretty and sexy and hot and cool? Now I'm not saying that every single day you have to get up and do your makeup or else that means you hate yourself. I'm just saying, when is the last time you did something for yourself? When was the last time you dressed up for yourself or put on makeup for YOURSELF (not work, not a date, not class) and thought "damn, I look gooooooood"?

Sorry, sis, but if the answer is anything more than a week ago, then you need to start prioritizing yourself. At the end of the day, you are the only person you have. Even if you are in the most loving, committed relationship that ever existed, it means nothing if you can't look in the mirror and say how much you love YOURSELF. Otherwise, that relationship that means so much to you, it's just a crutch for your own emotional insecurities. And that's the tea.

Obviously, I'm not an expert on the human mind. But I've dabbled quite a bit in the self-help and self-love section of the book store. So here's my short and sweet version:

We seek love from other people because we don't deeply love ourselves yet. 

Yikes, is that too close to home? Does that make you feel uncomfortable to read? Now you can scoff and roll your eyes and say "she has no idea what she's talking about. I love myself, I really do." And you can believe that!

But until you start treating yourself with the same love that you would give to your soulmate, then you really can't be in love with yourself. I want women to feel the way I do when I go grab lunch by myself. I think "wow, I am so happy to be spending time by myself!!" Being alone shouldn't be uncomfortable, it should EXCITE YOU!

If you haven't dated yourself before, it might be a little intimidating. But don't be nervous. Just ask yourself "what do I want to do? What would make ME happy?" And then, do that! There's no wrong way to take yourself on a date, and it looks different for so many people.

For me, it's going thrifting. I get excited to take myself out every Thursday and search a few stores for some affordable goodies. For yourself, it may be going to get your nails done, or going on a hike. Whatever you do, make sure you are doing it alone.

Get comfortable with yourself. Get to know the person you are. Because if you can't be comfortable in your own skin and love yourself, then how could you ever expect someone else to?


1 comment

  1. Yes! It's so important to value and love ourselves. It really leads to such love and acceptance for ourselves. Love this post.

    xx, Laurelle